Monday, November 7, 2011

What’s in a feeling?

For a matter of fact person such as myself, feelings are a something that I come across on a weekly basis. Real feelings, I mean.. Of course I feel happy when I see a friend, I feel appreciation when the sun shines. But it's not that often that I feel something deep, for instance real longing to see someone again. Deep regret for what I've done to someone I care about. Desire to get really close to someone I've met. There are times when I feel like this, but it's not that often. Am I less attached than a person should be?
The things in life that really make me feel, are music - playing and hearing - and nature - rocks, trees, mountains and animals. I feel alive when I am outdoors, and I feel deep and transported when I listen to music. I feel like I can express myself with music. Maybe the music is just the medium for releasing the feelings - I don't know.

I also have feelings of love and infatuation. I don't know what it is that makes you feel someone is so much more than the sum of their parts. It's the connection you have with them, the time you spend together, the interwoveness of your lives. There's something else as well. Meeting someone and immediately thinking they are sent from Above. This happens to me sometimes, and what am I to do with it? Me thinking someone's great doesn't change how they are. It certainly doesn't make us any better a match. How do you let go of those feelings and move on with your life? How do you see that person again without feeling like that?

I'm all for loving someone and making a life together, but I want it to be based on something more substantial than feelings. If feelings fade then you are left with nothing. How do you build a solid relationship based on compatibility and caring without it being boring and tedious? How do you interplay feelings and reality..?